“maybe you’re just not cut out for it.” – balancing anxiety with ambition

Maybe you’re just not cut out for it. It’s high pressure, and probably will be too much for you.

It kind of sucks hearing that.

I guess I’ve internalised the statement to some degree. But not enough to stop those pangs of sadness.

This is something which I’m struggling with.

How to stop feeling so afraid all the time.

How do I stop feeling so afraid to go after the things I want?

Let me be real; suffering from acute anxiety is straight up nasty. You’re on high alert, your heart races before your feet have a chance to, your mind is going at 180mph, and you honestly just wish you could make it stop. Sometimes the fear can be so severe, you want to break down crying because you just can’t face it.

Like, go away. I don’t want to meet people, I don’t want to respond to anything and I don’t want to fail against the expectations of others.

I’ve been there. Story of my life. It sucks.

With ambition, it’s a toughie. We all want to be the very best, right? (Well, I just want to live on a farm but hey, individual preferences.) Your neighbour’s daughter has received that big promotion at that big company, wow, what am I doing? Your classmates are winning in life – yaaaas; what am I doing? Your cousin’s friend just bought their first Maserati – okay, I made that up.

But seriously, I ask; what am I doing?

It’s a perpetual question.

To be honest, I can’t handle too much pressure or expectation. I like calm. I need calm.

Yet, weighing this desire (as well as this adjustment for your health, yo) can be a mismatch when you’re supposed to be the best. Smarter, stronger, more successful – the best.

It’s exhausting.

I get it, no-one expects you to the best. Like what the heck is the best anyway? But the point of this post is to articulate the difficulty that can arise when balancing your mental wellbeing and huge self-inflicted pressure with trying to achieve all the milestones in life.

I suppose I write this in relation to a comment a few people have made, regarding managing anxiety with achieving more.

“Do you think you can handle it?”

“It might be too much for you, take something more easier.”

My question to you reader is this; are they right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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